Nurtured an ardent longing to feel belonging, you'd been so longing you replaced placement with belongings, wanted to fit in by changing what you meant
To you place meant a place to find yourself to clothe yourself in the surrounding statements is that why seemed naked in between phases
To me place was where you were wanted, a missing piece to fit between parallel imagery
We placed bones on top of bones, instead of love on top of love
I would have loved to make love, but you were clear it wasn’t enough
When push came to shove
This is love on a deadline, but I don't believe in linearity
This is love on a deadline, so give yourself some peace
Stop searching for that missing piece of me, give yourself some peace, everything becomes atrophied
~
I can put my pride back on my sleeve and wash the dirt off my name, you can put yourself back in the paralysis you pretend isn't a cage
I found a new venture an undiscovered place, you always feared what you didn't know well now you won't know anything
You burnt every little note, every gift I ever gave, took off all my old clothes and wrapped yourself in your own hate
I heard and fell to the ground but didn't feel anything, You wanted to hit me where it hurt so removed my every trace
Well I went with this new me, adopted all his new traits, tried to forget that I ever knew you not put a new you in your place
You placed this new me in a construct forgot all my old ways, disregarded what we built here so can you blame me for moving
Well in moving I thought the best thing to do, would be to look outside of me outside of you
She accompanied me to a place I barely knew, a verdant fertile woods where this new me grew
I wandered through it losing track of where I'd been, running from these thoughts losing track of me
Needed distraction and in searching found a charred note in the mud like the ones you were burning
It read
"June 27th
I told him I love him
I can't forget him. I love him. "
There was some peace in that, as if some piece of that strangers past passed that stage of hate and just lay
Cause you can burn everything, but you can't char a memory
That me will always love you in that place in that time
With nothing to pull them forward, those kids are that night
There was a time when you didn't feel this way about me, when I didn't feel this hate towards myself
There was a time when you didn't feel this way about me, when I knew how to feel I knew how to feel about myself
credits
from Waves,
released May 12, 2017
Written by Nathaniel Dean // Lyrics by Nathaniel Dean
Bass // Rob Frankland
Guitar // Luke Searle
Drums // Jakob Myles
Vocals / Guitar // Nathaniel Dean
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